Fapping Explained

Fapping Defined

Etymology
An onomatopoeia from the sound of male masturbation, originally used in English translations of some mangas, and popularized on the Internet by the webcomic ''Sexy Losers''.

Interjection
{infl|en|interjection}
To indicate that someone (normally the speaker) is masturbating.
''I was watching some porn - '''fap fap fap''' - when my computer crashed, again!''

Verb
{en-verb|fapp|ing}
{Internet slang} {vulgar} {rft-sense|}To [masturbate]
''He really likes to '''fap'''; I hear him five times a day at least.''
''I knew you liked '''fapping''' but 300 gigs of porn is a little too much.''

Noun
{en-noun|-}
{slang|vulgar} [porn|Porn]
''I've just downloaded loads of '''fap''' for while I'm away.''

Usage notes
The word {term|fap} can be repeated any number of times, although three is most common for interjections and one for verbs.

Fapping Categories

Fapping is officially catergorized for research and education by the ASPEF (American Society for the Preservation of Endangered Fappers).
  • Stealth Fap(ing)

The Stealth Fap is the art of discreetly fapping in public (plain view) as to not call attention to the fapper. Its is commonly found in video chatrooms but cant can also be
seen else where, like the Manhattan F train; specifically, any stops between 179th street and Queensbridge. If you are on this train during off peek hours, remember to bring protective eye wear. If you ever do encounter a stealth fapper it is best to not confront it. Fapologists at the ASPEF say that Stealth Fappers do not like confrentation and will not engage you if they don't consider you a threat.

  • Paul Reubens Fap(ing)

The Paul Reubens Fap is the direct oppiisite of the Stealth Fap. It is the process(Fapping) or act(Fap) of masturbating while in public(plain view) without having the common courtesy of putting a blanket or a towel or some shit over your . A Paul Reubens fap can occur anywhere, just ask Pee Wee Herman. He know's what I'm talking about! Unlike the Stealth Fapper, A Paul Reubens Fapper is highly dangerous. They are very easily agitated and will quickly turn on you without notice. If you ever come across A Reuben Fapper it is highly recomneded that you stay calm. They can smell fear. ASPEF Fapologists recommend that you spread your arms out wide like a bird as to create an iluusion to the fapper that you are larger than it. If you are visiting an area with a high Reuben Fapper population, remember to bring cashews with you. Reubens love cashews and the nuts will buy you some time to make your escape.

  • Casper Fap(ing)

The Casper Fap is the process of masturbating while completley covered with some sort of sheet or blanket. The image one gives while casper fapping looks identical to that of a ghost masturbating. Hence the term, Casper Fapping. Casper Fapping is a rather popular debate amongst fap enthusiastsis across the globe. Beleivers say that ther are Casper Fappers walking among us everday, but we just can't see them. On the other side of the arugment are the naysayers, who reley on their senses to tell them what is real and fake. Althoug the Casper Fap ha yet to be proven, it still reserves it's own category of Fap as it is very popular, real or not.

  • FUI

{Acronmyn: Fapping Under the Influence}
FUI is the act of masturbating while inhebreiated in any sort, be it alchohol or narcotics. Fapping under the infulence has become a global issue. Every 34 seconds a person or child is either killed or injured because of someone who was Fapping under the infulence. States and Nations across the globe have outlawd FUIs because of the danger involved and the Soverigns State's obligation to protect its people. Popular methods some executive branches have adobted to stop FUIs from happening are stricter penalties and fines to those accused of an FUI, road blocks setup in high traffic areas, pictures of the Queen of England pasted to lightpoles on every corner, But the most successful method is education. Many nations have invested millions from their budgets to get the word out about the dangers of FUI and how {Designated Fapper} to avoid them.

  • Suprise Fap(ing)

The suprise Fap is the act of springing your sinful pastime into the direct path of an unsuspecting passerby. A Suprise Fapper does not suprise fap for the pleasure one
normally gets from masturbating, but rather, for the pleasure they get in knowing they just fucked your morning. The suprise fapper can spring on you anywhere anytime. Unless you remeber to constantly carry protective eyewear and mace on your person at all times, there is no preparition for the suprise fapper. Fapologists at the ASPEF believe that Suprise Fappers are masochistic by nature. Their theory is based on the following; "Why the fuck else would anyone jump in front of my face with the cock in tow? That fucker knew he was gonna get his teeth knocked out."

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